betty
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Post by betty on Oct 1, 2012 12:32:07 GMT
I would never ever stop her from seeing her Nanna but she was broken hearted when I had taken her last time. the home itself although lovely was upsetting enough for her but seeing mum was just awful. the last thing I want is for her to be upset although if she asked to go I would take her in a flash.
just had a call saying mum has fallen again. she deteriorates so much after each fall so god knows what we're to expect
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obeeky
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So here I am once more...
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Post by obeeky on Oct 9, 2012 16:15:47 GMT
Tried to look at suitable homes but the 2 we had contacted don't take dementia patients. Talked to solicitor again and she said she's having ANOTHER safeguarding meeting at mum's current place because of a client having to go to A&E twice.
I wish we didn't have to move her but it's looking increasingly like the only option.
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betty
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Post by betty on Oct 9, 2012 16:41:29 GMT
back at a & e, another fall! sat here and she has a lump the size of a tennis ball in her arm. looks like fluid but won't know for sure til she's been examined. we're getting her moved ASAP!
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obeeky
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Post by obeeky on Oct 9, 2012 21:15:53 GMT
any news, betty? Is she back at the home yet?
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betty
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Post by betty on Oct 10, 2012 12:20:07 GMT
we took her back last night keebo. she was exhausted, it was really awful seeing her injured. that's 2 falls in the last week which I know are pretty unavoidable but it's the neglect that I can't bear. we're going to see another home tonight as there is a room available. the hospital are starting a complaint against them, I think mums injuries confirmed this for them.
we just want her to be cared for and looked after when we cant be there but it's just as much a worry as when she was home alone. I was pretty hysterical last night but I've calmed down a little since. Ba**ards!
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obeeky
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Post by obeeky on Oct 10, 2012 22:35:27 GMT
I hope that both your mum and mine get to move to somewhere more suitable soon. There are good places out there, it's just finding them when you don't necessarily get any recommendations.
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Swamp Ophelia
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what if everything we have adds up to nothing - emily saliers
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Post by Swamp Ophelia on Oct 12, 2012 0:48:03 GMT
Dad went into the hospice today. i'm glad that he'll receive the care he needs but i hope its not the beginning of the end. also feel for my mum. first time shes been alone for 45 years apart from the times he was away filming.
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Post by leibniz on Oct 12, 2012 5:56:41 GMT
Oh SO I'm sorry to hear that. Will you be able to visit him often? Is your mum still able to drive to visit him?
So sad that they have to be apart!
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Swamp Ophelia
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what if everything we have adds up to nothing - emily saliers
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Post by Swamp Ophelia on Oct 12, 2012 17:05:22 GMT
Leibz i'm going this weekend. My mum is ok driving there, its in Finchley so about 20 mins away. He had a bad night last night but theyve made his bed more comfy so he should be ok tonight. my mum says its a lovely place and he will get good care. if they can make him stronger he'll be able to go home soon. i'm going to take him lots of goodies and some dvd's and puzzle books to stimulate his mind.
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betty
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Post by betty on Oct 12, 2012 20:07:50 GMT
hopefully they'll build him up SO then he'll be stronger for going home and your mum will have the rest she needs too. it's hard going and i feel for you all
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obeeky
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Post by obeeky on Oct 12, 2012 22:34:01 GMT
In this area hospice care is strictly rationed so my dad never got that wonderful care, he was due to move into a hospice on the day he died. I am glad to see that not everywhere is like that and I hope their care enables your dad to stay strong. x
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obeeky
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Post by obeeky on Oct 12, 2012 22:35:13 GMT
I looked at another care home today and it was just so impersonal. I really hope mum can move into the one decent place we've seen.
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obeeky
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Post by obeeky on Dec 16, 2012 17:55:02 GMT
Mum is very settled and in a lot less pain these days. But I feel like a cad whenever I visit because she forgets dad's gone and asks about him. I can't lie to her so I gently say "you know he died earlier this year" but it's heartbreaking to think this is news to her each time I say it. If I try to distract her i.e. by saying 'he's not here' she tells me 'he's dead, isn't he' so I can't find a way out of being the bearer of bad news and this is something I find really difficult however many times I have already done it.
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betty
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Post by betty on Dec 16, 2012 18:03:57 GMT
it's very difficult keebo. mum kept grieving every time we told her dad was no longer alive so whenever she asks about dad or her sisters now we just tell her that everyone is fine. her short term memory is so bad now that she doesn't remember even 5 minutes ago. she's happy enough in her own little world but it is heartbreaking to say the least. being in a lovely place really helps and she is being looked after fantastically
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betty
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Post by betty on Jan 23, 2013 20:24:25 GMT
mum still in hospital. very weak. doctor told us today that she's not responding to treatment and failing. fucking devastated.
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