obeeky
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So here I am once more...
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Post by obeeky on Sept 7, 2012 21:22:17 GMT
it is very draining. I will have to look again at care homes soon as we've been advised to move mum to somewhere more caring and more suitable.
Have they come with you to look at the homes or are you doing that by yourself?
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betty
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Post by betty on Sept 7, 2012 21:35:55 GMT
my sister came to see some with me and is tomorrow too. I viewed 2 alone today, one was lovely, t'other was awful...I wouldn't have left an animal there.
we are lucky in the fact there are a good few nice ones to see tomorrow so fingers crossed.
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betty
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Post by betty on Sept 9, 2012 16:10:46 GMT
mum is going into residential respite tomorrow for a week. her team want her to be assessed so a proper care plan can be put in place for when she gets back home. she thinks we're plotting against her so the last few days have been horrid.
we were also told today that if the worst comes to the worst she may be required to stay indefinitely. this was a shock to the system to say the least
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obeeky
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Post by obeeky on Sept 10, 2012 10:25:32 GMT
Assessment is useful, at least it gives you an indication of the level of care required. I doubt she's at the level that requires her to be sectioned (to be kept there) but they do need you to be aware that it can happen.
When mum was in hospital last week the doctor said her scan was "typical of someone with advanced vascular dementia". I got the same shock to the system. It was only ever mild or moderate before. Bit of a wakeup call.
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betty
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Post by betty on Sept 10, 2012 10:38:14 GMT
she's not going in to the dementia unit as they class her as having 'mild' dementia but it's definitely not. her deterioration is rapidly getting worse so I'm quite dreading their findings
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betty
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Post by betty on Sept 12, 2012 18:59:45 GMT
so she has been in 3 days and seems relatively settled all things considered. although, she is aware that it was a temporary 1 week stay. her team have been to see her and contacted us and asked for a family meeting as they want to make it permanent for her own safety.
this wasn't an option. head spinning!
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Sept 13, 2012 21:29:32 GMT
hey betty chill.
its best for her if she's under constant supervision. i have customers who have dementia and luckily the phone operaters know their routine and tell them what they are doing on each particular day and at what time they are doing it. others have dementia and don't remember me 3 years on. in fact he don't remember how he got there the moment the car door shuts. and others are aware they have dementia and cope perfectly well. each one is different and your mum just needs a little help and they are seeing that she needs help and are willing to help. i also have customers who need help but are not willing to get help and no one is recognising she needs help. i have one lady who is stuck in september 2011. i know this as she always ask me how my weekend in london was and i have to play along so as not to up set or worry her.
your mum is in the best place. the meals and entertainment might not be great but she will have company and people she can talk to.
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betty
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Post by betty on Sept 14, 2012 6:53:47 GMT
meeting is today and I'm dreading the outcome. I will obviously fight for what I think is the best option regardless off others. just feel like I'm being pulled from all directions but want mum to to happy and as content as she can be whether that be at home or in residential care.
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obeeky
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Post by obeeky on Sept 14, 2012 10:23:20 GMT
good luck with the meeting. Let us know how it goes.
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betty
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Post by betty on Sept 14, 2012 10:38:20 GMT
thank you and I will do
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betty
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Post by betty on Sept 14, 2012 15:06:07 GMT
she's agreed to another 2/3 weeks respite. she's worried about me though, bless her. she kissed me and told me she loved me whilst we were all there and I got upset and had to walk out. but we all know including her that it's for her own well being. she is adapting well and has made friends. the staff think she's quite a character so fingers crossed that it works out okay.
I still feel terribly guilty though
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obeeky
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Post by obeeky on Sept 14, 2012 18:20:23 GMT
you will feel guilty (I still do and mum's been in hers nearly a year). It is such a difficult situation for her and for you. It sounds like it really is the best thing for her right now, so when you feel low please try to remember you are doing the right thing.
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obeeky
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Post by obeeky on Sept 19, 2012 16:45:12 GMT
Just suddenly feel overwhelmed by mum's situation again. I don't want her to have this end-stage stuff for another couple of years. It is awful seeing her cry and not being able to comfort her.
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betty
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Post by betty on Sept 27, 2012 18:57:46 GMT
mum's really deteriorating. she's more confused than ever albeit less anxious. she's sleeping a hell of a lot, not eating and is extremely weary. I hate to see her like this and don't want her to go through this anymore but on the flip side i cant bear to think of the inevitable.
I know munchkin probably won't see her again and that is heart breaking in itself.
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obeeky
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Post by obeeky on Oct 1, 2012 12:09:44 GMT
Why wouldn't munchkin see her? Is that your choice or Munchkin's? I regret the fact I didn't push to see my grandparents more.
I have talked to the local authority who say that mum's injuries are a safeguarding issue. It is just feeling all too much right now, I am not sure I can deal with the necessary arrangements of moving her etc but I am not happy to keep her there.
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