tofu
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Post by tofu on Oct 2, 2015 11:30:16 GMT
it's good to take comfort keebs xxx
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Post by kip on Oct 2, 2015 12:32:45 GMT
^ I agree, sooo good to derive comfort from these things. :-)
Reference my earlier posts, if it hadn't been for the fact that these signs were seen by several other people, I think it might have been thought that I was imagining them! Half the church saw the butterfly and my Mum's carers and 2 close friends saw the kisses in the sky (you could hardly miss them!) and they were really excited for me. I said that I didn't think they were just for me, because my Mum was loved by many people, so I just think it was a big, general expression of love and gratitude from beyond the grave and I was happy to share them.
As for the photographs on the monitor in the kitchen, I was asleep when the night duty carer experienced all that and she took the photographs then passed them onto me. We've concluded that when S saw 'the happening' on the monitor and went quickly into her room, just to find there was nothing there, it meant that human eyes were not meant to see what was going on. On her return to the kitchen, the Aura was still developing on the monitor, getting bigger and brighter all the time. The most amazing thing I've ever seen!
I realise that some people may find this spooky or a bit uncomfortable to read, but I wanted to describe this in here, it being a safe place for bereavement experiences and all. I haven't put this in to make anyone feel spooked, so please don't hold it against me, because for me and those who held my Mum dear, it is massively comforting.
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obeeky
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So here I am once more...
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Post by obeeky on Oct 2, 2015 12:39:46 GMT
When I say comfort, it often means I have a little cry 3 years on. It feels odd to say that something that makes you cry is in any way comforting but it really is. I'm smiling at the memories and crying at the loss all at the same time.
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Post by sleepytigercub on Oct 3, 2015 18:26:58 GMT
One of my closest friends in town is a psychic medium. She does "shows" for want of a better expression where she gives messages and evidence from the other side and occasionally I go along to help out. I've been more than normal recently as we're making a wee video and I'm collecting footage. A couple of weeks ago a woman came through for her daughter and she'd had dementia for a good while before she passed. The message was really detailed and she said that she hadn't really been "there" in the worst stages. I don't mean *taps head* not all there, but not fully present on earth in her body. She wanted her daughter to know that she was alright where she was and that though she now knew what she'd been through, she wasn't aware of it at the time it was happening.
Don't know if that helps any of you who've lost or are losing loved ones to dementia, but I thought I'd risk looking like an eejit to share it.
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Post by kip on Oct 13, 2015 14:42:28 GMT
Just as I thought I was actually doing ok, a big white van arrived this morning to take away my Mum's hoist, slings, bedside trolley and shower chair. As I'm watching all this disappear, I just lost it and tears were streaming down my face. The poor guys didn't quite know what to do but one of them came and put his arm around me and said that I should leave them to it and go and sit down. Luckily, one of my friends arrived and came and sat with me whilst I broke my heart. She knew exactly how I felt as she lost her Mum 3 years ago, very suddenly, so she had the shock thing to deal with as well.
On the upside, the fully adjustable bed that I bought 3 years ago (we couldn't have managed without this wonderful bed that went into every position imaginable, resulted in her having zero bed sores over 3 years and just about did everything but make a cup of tea!) is going to help a man in his 40's who has terminal cancer and hopefully will prevent him going into a Hospice as his wife and parents want to care for him at home. That makes me feel very pleased. :-)
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Deleted
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Post by Deleted on Oct 13, 2015 16:36:21 GMT
Adjustment isn't it. Takes time.
Nice sentiment, aussi.
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tofu
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Post by tofu on Oct 14, 2015 6:57:59 GMT
sometimes the most mundane things remind us and are the most poignant...but it's good to have those memories and feelings...
you are in the very early stages of your grief kip, let your feelings happen...i'm 22 years down the line and some things still bring tears to my eyes and catch me off guard
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Post by kip on Oct 16, 2015 10:50:05 GMT
I've realised how lucky I was - and grateful - to have both my parents into their old age. My dad died 20 years ago, aged 81 and of course, my Mum died last month, aged 96. Also very grateful that neither of them died in screaming agonies. There was and still is, very much a sense of both parents leading a long and lively life, they were not robbed of life at an early age as some people are, resulting in their children losing a parent at a very early age. I feel sorry for anyone who has had to go through that, because I have endless memories of enjoying both parents for many years, through all the stages of their lives and mine.
Reasons to be cheerful for sure. :-)
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tofu
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Post by tofu on Oct 16, 2015 18:26:48 GMT
that's lovely kip, and those memories are great to hang on to x
i lost my dad when i was almost 4 and my mum when i was 23 so having both parents for a long time really is a blessing, believe me x
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Post by kip on Oct 16, 2015 22:24:27 GMT
The loss of both parents by the time you were 23? That is tragic - cruel and brutal. I can't begin to imagine your grief and pain in a situation like that. x
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tofu
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Post by tofu on Oct 17, 2015 7:15:23 GMT
thanks kip...i think it's fair to say it's shaped who i am today !
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Post by kip on Oct 29, 2015 14:03:05 GMT
God, I miss my mother. Even the demented one that relied on me for everything, the only thing she could do for herself (in the last year especially) was breathe. I pick up her photograph every morning, kiss her lovely smiling face then hold it tightly to my chest, just for a few moments. Then I put it back down and get on with my life. It seems to help but some days are not so good. Like today.
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obeeky
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So here I am once more...
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Post by obeeky on Oct 31, 2015 16:05:04 GMT
aye. Those are the days you just have to get through, with the knowledge that they pass.
Today I have thought of my poor dad saying goodbye to my brother the day before he died - he shook his hand, very formal. I miss my parents a lot today - we used to go to a local fireworks show (on tonight) and then go back to their house for fish and chips afterwards.
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Post by kip on Nov 29, 2015 7:07:32 GMT
This grief thing is a real bastid and is hitting me hard these recent weeks. I miss my old girl.
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Post by kip on Jan 2, 2016 15:44:55 GMT
Pleased that I managed to keep myself 'up' over Xmas as I had friends round and was actually doing pretty well until yesterday. Had a really sad day, really missing my Mum (and Dad). Feeling more upbeat today and remembering the little talks, or rather little lectures she used to give me occasionally, before the dreaded dementia hit her - to the effect that when she left this life, I was not to waste a minute of mine grieving, crying or being sad. Easier said than done darling but I hope that you can see I'm coping not too badly most of the time.
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