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Post by garfield on Aug 16, 2012 21:23:09 GMT
Oh Twitch you really are having a tough time. If its any consolation sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you can go up. Hugs.
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obeeky
Member
So here I am once more...
Posts: 5,209
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Post by obeeky on Aug 16, 2012 22:20:08 GMT
Twitch, it might just be that things are so tough that love is just hiding away at the moment. It might not mean its not there, don't make any decisions about your relationship until you've got through the work problems xx
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tofu
Member
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Post by tofu on Aug 24, 2012 11:36:12 GMT
oh this is so hard....
i've been struggling with depression for a while now, on and off for a few years but this latest dip, for over a year. last year i was prescribed medication which i only took for a short while cos it made me feel physically ill and too detached
i was referred to talking therapies but couldn't go in the end because they take place...at my work-places...cruel twist of fate !
this year has been the worse ever and i've never felt so low, not even after my mum died. i went back to my gp in feb got more medication but once again, didn't take it...the counter indications in the leaflet scared me more...so i accepted a talking therapy through my employers and have been seeing a counsellor since march
i have lots of areas of stress in my life and this year all the areas are in crisis so i have very little scope for any sort of respite, except my on-line time here, the br has kept me sane although i know i post like a crazy loon most of the time !
things around me have started to snap...some of those breakages make me feel better, a relief from the pressures, others make more stress, more problems and more feelings of uselessness
fck...i really have wished i was dead
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Post by sleepytigercub on Aug 24, 2012 14:09:25 GMT
I'm really glad you're not dead, tofu. You're a lovely woman and, though we've never met, you're one of my favourite blue roomers. If the BR has helped you get through this then that's the single best reason for saving it I've heard so far, and I hope it can continue to help.
It's so hard not to take it personally/feel like you should be able to control stuff when pressures are coming from outside, but sometimes there's just nothing you can do to change the situation but only the way you feel about it. Bad stuff happening doesn't make you a bad person, or useless! Hope the talking therapy can help you with that side of it. I'm really sorry to hear you're going through this stuff, and I hope that the positive breakages help towards coping with the other stuff. You WILL get through it. Stay strong, and ask for help when you need it... even if it's just bending our ears here, or taking the space for some silly time with the BR. It wouldn't be the same without you, and you don't know how much it helps others who are feeling the same way when they read your stuff.
{{tofu}}
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Post by twitch on Aug 24, 2012 14:27:01 GMT
What STC said !!
((((((((((( toffers )))))))))))))
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Post by garfield on Aug 24, 2012 14:39:30 GMT
I agree with what stc said Toffers, depression and stress are the pits cos when you're in the middle of it, it's hard to see that there is an end, but as long as you are eating right, sleeping if possible, and talking about things to whom ever you're comfortable, you're going in the right direction. It doesn't get fixed overnight unfortunately, but we are all here for you in whatever way we can help.
Just remember you're worth it L'Oreal. Hugs
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tofu
Member
Posts: 15,045
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Post by tofu on Aug 24, 2012 15:31:21 GMT
thank you...i'm overwhelmed with all those kind words xxx
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Post by twitch on Aug 24, 2012 16:14:22 GMT
Yes, I was very eloquent I thought ;D
Hang in there lovely.
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Post by Earthlysparky on Aug 25, 2012 8:35:33 GMT
Now then Toffee, enough of this. Pull yourself together woman. We need you. Who else am I going to beat in Words?
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merc
Member
warning. may contain mild peril.
Posts: 7,320
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Post by merc on Aug 25, 2012 12:26:12 GMT
Now then Toffee, enough of this. Pull yourself together woman. and if you cant pull yourself together come up to Ed and have a dickabout with me and teaqueen. we have a beach and small dogs and bars.
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Post by s.a.m on Aug 25, 2012 12:53:15 GMT
we have a beach and small dogs and bars. I read that as small dogs and bras ;D (And they're proper entertaining as a comedy duo. So long as you don't venture near Crammond foreshore. And that Silverknowes place is apparently off limits too) My advice is to only keep good, healthy and helpful company Twatty people are known to take of advantage of blue episodes
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tofu
Member
Posts: 15,045
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Post by tofu on Aug 25, 2012 22:31:42 GMT
i am very very touched xxx
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betty
Member
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Post by betty on Aug 27, 2012 9:13:36 GMT
I'm sorry you're not feeling yourself tofu. Remember you have good frends on here x
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Post by twitch on Aug 28, 2012 7:23:32 GMT
Ok, well it has been an interesting few weeks. My wife and I have told each other that although we still care about each other, we don't think we're in love any more. I think she is beginning to understand that I cant carry on in a relationship which offers me so little support and understanding, and Im not sure she even likes the person that I have become. I certainly dont. I think it is a matter of time before we start to discuss a split.
I have finally told my parents that Im off work and on meds, and about the issues at home. They were devastated about the relationship and disappointed that I hadnt told them before. However, they support me 100% in resigning and I came home yesterday absolutely determined to do that today. This was only reinforced by the fact that the dog got a warmer greeting than I did and despite the fact that I was emotionally drained from talking everything through with my parents I still got no hug or sign of affection at all. I have been surrounded by family for the last 9 days and they have just looked after me, and I have had so many cuddles with the kids. And today I woke up and cuddled my dog, and I feel so lonely again. I really need to start taking some positive action for myself, but it is so against my nature to just be selfish. But Im fed up of starting and ending the day in tears just hoping for a quick hug that I know is not going to come. I really had thought Id moved on from the scariest place, of just not wanting to continue if this was all I was going to feel, and the meds mainly make me feel numb. But 3 hours max sleep a night and constant pressures about work and the house etc make me feel so stuck.
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Post by twitch on Aug 30, 2012 18:56:38 GMT
Hmm, I told you i had thought about killing myself and your reaction ranged from indifference to anger that i told you. We discuss splitting the map collection up and you cry. I'm not sure what response is expected but i am mainly numb.
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