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Post by sleepytigercub on Apr 22, 2011 20:00:50 GMT
Goes here...
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Post by mimaduck on Apr 24, 2011 11:21:22 GMT
and boy do I need it....
just when I thought I had it licked (excuse the term) it bites me on the ass again...I'd forgotten the bit that goes with it, the crushing exhaustion even when doing f**k all, the unstoppable tears for no apparent reason and the desire to hibernate even when its beautiful outside.
Some has grey washed the world...and I don't like it...
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dottydolly
Member
I left the closet a while ago....
Posts: 1,295
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Post by dottydolly on Apr 24, 2011 20:18:24 GMT
((hugs))
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Post by mimaduck on Apr 24, 2011 20:35:42 GMT
Thanks DD...spent the afternoon (after falling asleep) at a friend's house, crying and smoking (not good - I quit nearly 6 years ago too). The worst part is that I know why I am back in this state again...I know all the reasons, just doesn't make it easier.
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Post by Earthlysparky on Apr 24, 2011 22:22:56 GMT
mima, you've been through this before, so (as painful as it is right now) you know you are strong enough to get though it again. I know you won't be feeling very strong right now, but you are. Be kind to yourself, and be patient, but don't lose sight of the real you; the stroppy, smiley one that is just biding her time until she can re-emerge and make a grand entrance!
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Post by mimaduck on Apr 24, 2011 23:44:38 GMT
smiley and stroppy...wow. is that really who I am?
I know you are right, everyone has said the same thing...and you can't all be wrong. Everyone is saying I should look after myself for a bit...hard when I have done for the last 10 years is look after others in one way or another.
How do I start applying the same care to myself...never been done before.
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Post by brightsider on Apr 25, 2011 12:43:33 GMT
It is hard to apply it to yourself when all you feel is pain chick (((hugs))) I'm feeling crap, so I'm glad this thread has reappeared. I put it down to the CBT I'm having at the moment, focusing on stuff never does me any good. Maybe I should just resign myself to the fact I will always have bad days, even when I am considered 'recovered'. Applying the same care to myself as I did to others, Mima, I think comes in the form of spoiling myself at times. I treat myself all the time - all the things I would buy or do for other people to make them feel valued and cheer them up, I do for myself. I buy myself flowers, treat myself to clothes and the like, have facials, make myself gorgeous dinners, spend time with friends when I can, go to shows and gigs at times...but I also allow myself to feel sad and have a really good cry at times. When I'm feeling that desperately sad, I remember the words of my friends who tell me constantly how fab I am. I have to beleive them, cos they are all so persistant
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Post by mimaduck on Apr 25, 2011 18:21:02 GMT
Today was a good day...I distracted myself and made things better. Spending some time in the sun has helped, long may it last!
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Post by greyhoundnutter on Apr 25, 2011 20:26:36 GMT
am fluctuating at the mo, brightsider you should listen to everyone because you are a lovely person, mima like most of us you have been there before and as hard as it is each time we relapse there always has to be light at the end of the tunnel
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Post by brightsider on Apr 25, 2011 23:09:38 GMT
Yes Mima, I hope it lasts too as I spent most of the day reading in it. Thank you greyhoundnutter, you are lovely too
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kelpie
Member
“Be truthful, gentle, and fearless.” – Gandhi
Posts: 88
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Post by kelpie on Apr 28, 2011 17:50:03 GMT
Am re starting my medication, again. I do this too often. I feel really well and that I'm better and able to manage and cope so I stop the meds. Give me a month 2 at the most and I'm dropping down rather quickly.
So I'm on small dose and next week will up it again, then again the week after.
I hate feeling down, I hate dreading each day when I wake. I crave going to sleep at night to end the day and have some unconcious time to forget everything (dreams depending) But I still wake up each morning and have to face it as best as I can.
So again, I'm on meds.
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spirit
Member
Let them throw their curses. If inside, I am connected to what's true, my soul stays quiet and clear
Posts: 3,986
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Post by spirit on Apr 28, 2011 18:33:53 GMT
(((Hugs))) Kelpie. Hoping you feel better once your meds kick in. Awful to know you can't funtion properly without them tho. I still have a script for anti depressants that i got when i had a blip a few weeks back. Not taken it in tho, i don't feel i need them now and i feel better than i have for a long while. I know what you mean about going to sleep, i used to sometimes wish i wouldn't wake up. That was a few years ago now, and i am thankful that i haven't felt like it since. Hopefully you have a good support network? Mental ill heath can make you feel so totally isolated. You can be in a room full of people, yet be the only one there. I have one really good friend who supported me totally, even tho i ranted at her when i was at my worst. It made our relationship stronger, and i love her to bits. Keep coming in here and write down how you feel. You can always delete it later, and it's good to know that some peeps really understand how you're feeling. Take care
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Post by Beaverish on Apr 30, 2011 18:19:22 GMT
Bad day here. Got loads of stuff to be done before work on Tuesday but mind is absolute mush. Although I've promised myself that I'm not going to walk on egg shells for anyone ever again I find myself playing the part of whipping boy again. I know they've got a lot going on in my friend's life but that doesn't give them an excuse to talk to me like they do. I know that I deserve better but that simply doesn't help me right now.
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Post by greyhoundnutter on May 5, 2011 22:14:40 GMT
well there i was feeling great and having something to hopefully look forward to and then tonight found out never going to happen but not for the reason i thought for feel completely deflated
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Post by greyhoundnutter on May 6, 2011 21:02:52 GMT
can't even explain how am feeling at the mo, dead inside is one way i suppose i know how to chose them don't i
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