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Post by leibniz on Jun 1, 2012 10:40:40 GMT
That is so awful when considerations like bank hols etc. come in the way of your grief and make things more difficult. I hope the bereavement officer and the funeral director are being helpful to you.
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obeeky
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Post by obeeky on Jun 1, 2012 16:06:51 GMT
We've got the medical certificate now. All other appointments next Wednesday. The pain comes in waves of loss. I know it will get easier and I just have to get through it for now.
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obeeky
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Post by obeeky on Jun 10, 2012 17:38:29 GMT
these are the poems I can't decide between. Any preferences will help me narrow it down. He enjoyed his life, liked water and didn't want to be grieved over. He wanted us to get on with our lives and not worry about him.
I Am There - Iris Hesselden
Look for me when the tide is high And the gulls are wheeling overhead When the autumn wind sweeps the cloudy sky And one by one the leaves are shed Look for me when the trees are bare And the stars are bright in the frosty sky When the morning mist hangs on the air And shorter darker days pass by. I am there, where the river flows And salmon leap to a silver moon Where the insects hum and the tall grass grows And sunlight warms the afternoon I am there in the busy street I take you hand in the city square In the market place where the people meet In your quiet room - I am there I am the love you cannot see And all I ask is - look for me
Song - Christina Rossetti
When I am dead, my dearest, Sing no sad songs for me; Plant thou no roses at my head, Nor shady cypress tree: Be the green grass above me With showers and dewdrops wet; And if thou wilt, remember, And if thou wilt, forget. I shall not see the shadows, I shall not feel the rain; I shall not hear the nightingale Sing on, as if in pain; And dreaming through the twilight That doth not rise nor set, Haply I may remember And Haply may forget.
The Unknown Shore - Elizabeth Clark Hardy
Sometime at Eve when the tide is low I shall slip my moorings and sail away With no response to a friendly hail In the silent hush of the twilight pale When the night stoops down to embrace the day And the voices call in the water's flow Sometime at Eve When the water is low I shall slip my moorings and sail away. Through purple shadows That darkly trail o'er the ebbing tide And the Unknown Sea, And a ripple of waters' to tell the tale Of a lonely voyager sailing away To mystic isles Where at anchor lay The craft of those who had sailed before O'er the Unknown Sea To the Unknown Shore A few who watched me sail away Will miss my craft from the busy bay Some friendly barques were anchored near Some loving souls my heart held dear In silent sorrow will drop a tear But I shall have peacefully furled my sail In mooring sheltered from the storm and gale And greeted friends who had sailed before O'er the Unknown Sea To the Unknown Shore
The Parting Glass - Irish Traditional
Oh all the time that e'er I spent, I spent it in good company; And any harm that e'er I've done, I trust it was to none but me; May those I've loved through all the years Have memories now they'll e'er recall; So fill me to the parting glass, Goodnight, and joy be with you all. Oh all the comrades that e'er I had, Are sorry for my going away; And all the loved ones that e'er I had Would wish me one more day to stay. But since it falls unto my lot That I should leave and you should not, I'll gently rise and I'll softly call Goodnight, and joy be with you all. Of all good times that e'er we shared, I leave to you fond memory; And for all the friendship that e'er we had I ask you to remember me; And when you sit and stories tell, I'll be with you and help recall; So fill to me the parting glass, God bless, and joy be with you all.
Afterglow - Unknown
I'd like the memory of me to be a happy one. I'd like to leave an afterglow of smiles when life is done. I'd like to leave an echo whispering softly down the ways, Of happy times and laughing times and bright and sunny days. I'd like the tears of those who grieve, to dry before the sun of happy memories that I leave when life is done.
If I should go - Joyce Grenfell
If I should go before the rest of you Break not a flower nor inscribe a stone Nor when I'm gone speak in a Sunday voice But be the usual selves that I have known Weep if you must Parting is hell But life goes on So sing as well.
Memories - Unknown
I thought of you with love today but that is nothing new. I thought about you yesterday and days before that too. I think of you in silence I often speak your name All I have are memories and your picture in a frame. Your memory is my keepsake with which I'll never part God has you in His keeping I have you in my heart.
One At Rest - Unknown
Think of me as one at rest, for me you should not weep I have no pain no troubled thoughts for I am just asleep The living thinking me that was, is now forever still And life goes on without me now, as time forever will. If your heart is heavy now because I've gone away Dwell not long upon it friend For none of us can stay Those of you who liked me, I sincerely thank you all And those of you who loved me, I thank you most of all. And in my fleeting lifespan, as time went rushing by I found some time to hesitate, to laugh, to love, to cry Matters it now if time began If time will ever cease? I was here, I used it all, and now I am at peace.
Goodbye my family, my life is past I loved you all to the very last Weep not for me, but courage take Love each other for my sake For those you love don't go away They walk beside you every day
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betty
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Post by betty on Jun 10, 2012 17:50:01 GMT
they are all very beautiful, touching poems keebo, they gave me wet eye.
its very difficult to choose but I'm sure the most suitable will jump out at you
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Post by leibniz on Jun 10, 2012 17:52:36 GMT
Oh God Keebo. I like them all a lot apart from The Parting Glass, but they'll all be impossible to read without crying. They're all beautiful. Sorry that's not helpful for narrowing down.
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Post by s.a.m on Jun 10, 2012 18:09:14 GMT
Based on what you have said ^ about your Dad, I would say either Afterglow or One At Rest. Is your family a particularly religious one? I guess if they are you might choose a more God-y one. I'm sure your Dad would have liked whichever you choose Keebs, they're all pretty apt
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obeeky
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Post by obeeky on Jun 10, 2012 18:29:52 GMT
he didn't want a ceremony, that bit is for us! We are carrying out all his wishes except that we want a proper goodbye. Only the reverend (my brother in law) is religious and he's leading the service.
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DJ
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Post by DJ on Jun 10, 2012 20:37:24 GMT
Oh I love the Joyce Grenfell one, but that's my personal taste.
It would be the easiest to read out without howling because it's short, and ends on a happier note.
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Post by garfield on Jun 10, 2012 21:16:40 GMT
They are all beautiful keebs, chose the one that touches you the most. ... Words from the heart, although those are the hardest to say without crying.... A lot!
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Post by Earthlysparky on Jun 11, 2012 8:59:58 GMT
I think the Joyce Grenfell is most "him", with Afterglow coming a close second.
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tofu
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Post by tofu on Jun 11, 2012 16:50:19 GMT
i love the joyce grenfell one because despite the sadness and depth of loss, it ends on a happier note...
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tofu
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Post by tofu on Jun 12, 2012 23:21:23 GMT
today would have been my mum's birthday... ...this is always a really hard day for me because i remember the flowers and the cakes, the laughing and the fuss without fussing...
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obeeky
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Post by obeeky on Jun 12, 2012 23:52:06 GMT
What was your mum like Tofu? How did she fuss without fussing?
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tofu
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Post by tofu on Jun 13, 2012 5:47:46 GMT
she was a strong, funny, and kind woman...very a great sense of fairness which got her escorted home by the police from demos more than once ;D
she'd had a hard life, born in a very poor family in the 1920s, lived and worked through the 2nd world war...she had 6 kids (im the youngest) and was sadly widowed in her 40s
she was very down to earth, well known in her community, and great at giving out advice and tea to all the neighbourhood
her favourite saying was "i'm a very fortunet woman" which she really meant...she felt blessed...we had this inscribed on her gravestone
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obeeky
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Post by obeeky on Jun 13, 2012 19:25:15 GMT
she sounds wonderful and you sound rightly proud of her I went to look at where dad will be buried, it is truly lovely, there were red kites and skylarks, butterflies and sheep. I know he will be at peace there and I know I can go and sit up there with him whenever I want to.
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